Degrees of Love

To an outsider looking in, our household is probably very similar to most 'normal' families. We are made up of a mum and dad who have three young adult 'children' (let's face it, they really are 'children' disguised as YA - aren't they?) still living at home. They are my babies...or the remnants of my babies...they just like to drive themselves these days. My husband has been married before and has five adult children from his first marriage. We are a blended family which is pretty 'normal' these days (although, one might challenge me on the word - normal).

We have ups and downs, good times and challenging times, like most. I feel extremely blessed as I love the family we have created. Life is always interesting and each new day uncovers another dimension, another layer of each individual.

I guess I am a bit of a nester. I love having the kids at home, although there are the odd times when I think it is time to find out for themselves what it is really like out there in the big wide world and to really understand and appreciate just what they really have...but having said that - there's plenty of time to discover all that...isn't there???

Well, no ... not really...this year seems destined to be a year of change in our family...and my 'run' of having 'all' my little chickadees home in the roost is drawing to a close. Big changes, adjustments and shifts in dynamics are the upcoming new lessons to be learned.

Excitement is all abuzz in the house...my second daughter (middle child) has decided she wants to travel and live abroad for a year (or so???). I am really excited and think it will be a very positive experience for her. Am I ready for the tearing of the apron strings??? Is a mother ever 'ready' for her child/ren to 'fly the coop?' Most likely not...but I am trying and I've got a whole couple of months to 'condition' myself. I really do feel excited for her, but memories of her first day at Preschool and my hidden tears spring to mind. This child of mine is more than just a daughter...she is a wonderful and thoughtful friend to me too. She is precious (as my other children are) and I am going to miss her. I am going to miss the daily 'small stuff'... the everyday stuff.

I don't kid myself...everyone goes through this and I certainly don't feel sorry for myself. I am shortly going to experience another transition in life and I guess my daughter's departure signals the next stage in my life. I will mourn this passing and move on (as everyone must), but it makes me think back to how my own mother must have felt as her children 'left the roost'.

Our children love us, but I don't think they can ever know a mother's love until they are parents themselves. I mourned the loss of my father deeply. My mother is 'lost' to severe end-stage dementia and when my father passed away, I lost the love of my father. No one loved me more than my father after my mother faded. There are so many degrees of love. Don't get me wrong...I'm not viewing love as a competition. My husband loves me, my children love me, my siblings, family and friends love me ... each at varying degrees...

My kids will leave home, get married and have children of their own (hopefully), as they should. But no one will love them as I do, other than God, and I hope they can tuck that knowledge in their hearts and hold it dear. Their partners will love them, their children will love them dearly, but I will love them like no other till I am no more.

I am going to embrace this new stage that is about to happen with much excitement. The journey is the adventure, not the end. And for all the parents out there who have already had their children leave home, lost their children to misfortune, or are like me, and about to lose their children due to progress, my thoughts and prayers are with you today.