Instalment 32 Sunday 8 May 2011

It's Mothers' Day today and the first mothers' day that I won't be sharing with my own mum. She slipped away last October and although for the past six or so years, she was unaware of what was happening around her, I still did.

My mum, Cecily, suffered from 'end stage' dementia for over six years and was unaware of who was around her, where she was or what she was doing. She did not recognise anyone and could not communicate. Somewhere deep inside me knows that somewhere deep inside her, she knew I was there and she knew me. I hang on to these thoughts because they help to get me through.

Dementia is such a cruel illness. It is a robber - a thief, unrelenting and of great stealth.

Even though mum may not have been aware of her surroundings or what was happening to her, she was loved. And today, I missed her a little bit more than normal. I felt the same at Easter time. Each Easter I used to buy mum a small soft toy to clutch. Her limbs had grown very stiff and she needed these little toys to take some pressure off. They worked well.

So, today marks the first Mothers' Day without my own mum, but we still remember her. I will never forget her and I pray in my heart that she knows how much she was loved.

Today is also a day to remember my mother-in-law, Audrey. Ian's mum was a true rose as well and passed away back in 2007. I know Ian and his sisters still find it hard and miss their beloved mum. Losing those we love and need is very hard on anyone. A lot of our friends have now also lost their parents and we all use our memories and photos to help us stay connected. Ian and I have lost all our parents and that makes us feel quite confronted with the fact that now we are the matriarch and patriarch of our family. Wow! I feel too young for this sort of responsibility.

As role models, it is our responsibility to make sure their memories live on for the sake of their grandchildren and great grandchildren. It is important that they all know where they have come from; their roots.

We don't need special days to remember our treasures, they are always on our minds.

However, Mothers are so important to us in many ways and so, today is dedicated to them.

My family blessed me with a lovely dinner Saturday evening at Gusto Gianni, a contemporary Italian restaurant where they serve up the most delicious dishes. It was so lovely that everyone could be together. It doesn't always happen these days, so it was very special to me.

They also blessed me with some lovely gifts. I felt very spoilt.

This morning I found a very special gift on our back lawn. Ian had found a possum box in the weekend shopper and decided to go and get it. He laughed as he told me it was a present from my baby possums...isn't that the sweetest thing?

So to every mother out there...I hope your day was blessed as much as mine.